[fix](mem tracker) Fix some memory leaks, inaccurate statistics, core dump, deadlock bugs (#10072)

1. Fix the memory leak. When the load task is canceled, the `IndexChannel` and `NodeChannel` mem trackers cannot be destructed in time.
2. Fix Load task being frequently canceled by oom and inaccurate `LoadChannel` mem tracker limit, and rewrite the variable name of `mem limit` in `LoadChannel`.
3. Fix core dump, when logout task mem tracker, phmap erase fails, resulting in repeated logout of the same tracker.
4. Fix the deadlock, when add_child_tracker mem limit exceeds, calling log_usage causes `_child_trackers_lock` deadlock.
5. Fix frequent log printing when thread mem tracker limit exceeds, which will affect readability and performance.
6. Optimize some details of mem tracker display.

be/src/runtime/thread_context.cpp

@@ -136,12 +136,14 @@ SwitchThreadMemTracker<Existed>::~SwitchThreadMemTracker() {
 #endif // USE_MEM_TRACKER
 }
 
-SwitchThreadMemTrackerErrCallBack::SwitchThreadMemTrackerErrCallBack(
-        const std::string& action_type, bool cancel_work, ERRCALLBACK err_call_back_func) {
+SwitchThreadMemTrackerErrCallBack::SwitchThreadMemTrackerErrCallBack(const std::string& action_type,
+                                                                     bool cancel_work,
+                                                                     ERRCALLBACK err_call_back_func,
+                                                                     bool log_limit_exceeded) {
 #ifdef USE_MEM_TRACKER
     DCHECK(action_type != std::string());
     _old_tracker_cb = tls_ctx()->_thread_mem_tracker_mgr->update_consume_err_cb(
-            action_type, cancel_work, err_call_back_func);
+            action_type, cancel_work, err_call_back_func, log_limit_exceeded);
 #endif
 }